Funny driving jokes about getting lost, car troubles, and the hilarious things that happen when drivers and passengers try to get from one place to another.
1. The GPS Argument
Kevin was driving to a friend's house in a part of town he had never visited before.
He turned on the GPS and followed the instructions carefully.
“Turn left in 200 meters,” the GPS said.
Kevin turned left.
“Continue straight.”
He continued straight.
“Turn right.”
He turned right.
After another ten minutes, the GPS announced:
“You have arrived at your destination.”
Kevin looked around.
He was standing in front of a completely unfamiliar house.
He checked the address.
“Wait a minute. This isn't my friend's house.”
The GPS responded:
“Recalculating.”
Kevin sighed.
“You could have told me that before I parked.”
His passenger laughed.
“Maybe the GPS is tired.”
Kevin looked at the screen.
“It has one job.”
The GPS calmly replied:
“Make a U-turn when possible.”
Kevin shook his head.
“Now it's giving me attitude.”
2. The Car That Wouldn't Start
Michael was already late for work when he got into his car.
He turned the key.
Nothing happened.
He tried again.
Nothing.
He tried a third time.
Still nothing.
Michael got out, opened the hood, and stared at the engine.
He had absolutely no idea what he was looking at.
His neighbor walked over.
“Car trouble?”
Michael nodded.
“Yes. I think something is wrong with the engine.”
The neighbor looked under the hood.
“Did you check the battery?”
Michael paused.
“No.”
“Why not?”
Michael pointed at the engine.
“Because I was hoping the problem would introduce itself.”
The neighbor laughed.
“Do you know anything about cars?”
Michael shook his head.
“Of course.”
“What do you know?”
Michael closed the hood.
“I know how to turn the key.”
3. The Backseat Driver
Anna was driving her brother to the airport.
After five minutes, he said, “You can move a little faster.”
Anna continued driving.
A few minutes later:
“Watch that car.”
“I see it.”
“Slow down.”
“I am slowing down.”
“There's a speed bump ahead.”
“I can see it.”
“Are you sure?”
Anna finally looked at him.
“You've been driving for five minutes without touching the steering wheel, yet somehow you're exhausted.”
Her brother smiled.
“I'm just helping.”
“Helping with what?”
“Your driving.”
Anna laughed.
“Then why don't you drive?”
He immediately shook his head.
“No, I'm comfortable here.”
Anna nodded.
“Of course you are.”
She looked at him in the rearview mirror.
“That's the safest place in the car for someone who thinks he's the driving instructor.”
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