Three playful stories about bedtime routines, midnight thoughts, and the mysterious decisions we make when we're supposed to be asleep.

1. The Five-Minute Nap

I came home exhausted one afternoon and decided to take a quick nap.

I told myself, “Just five minutes. I don't want to ruin my sleep tonight.”

I set an alarm for five minutes and closed my eyes.

When I woke up, the room was dark.

I checked my phone.

It was 9:30 p.m.

I had slept for nearly four hours.

I sat up, confused, and thought, “Well, at least I'll sleep early tonight.”

That was optimistic.

At 2:47 a.m., I was wide awake, staring at the ceiling and regretting every decision that had brought me to that moment.

2. The Midnight Snack

I woke up in the middle of the night feeling extremely hungry.

I tried to ignore it.

I closed my eyes.

My stomach growled.

I turned over.

It growled again, louder.

Finally, I went to the kitchen and made a sandwich.

I stood there eating it at 2 a.m., feeling like I was having a secret meeting with myself.

Then I realized I wasn't actually hungry.

I had simply dreamed about eating pizza.

My brain had apparently submitted a food request while I was asleep.

And unfortunately, I was the employee who approved it.

3. The Alarm

I had an important appointment in the morning, so I set three alarms.

One for 6:30.

One for 6:35.

One for 6:40.

I went to bed feeling completely confident.

The first alarm rang.

I turned it off.

The second alarm rang.

I turned it off.

The third alarm rang.

I turned it off.

Then I woke up naturally at 8:15.

I looked at the clock in disbelief.

My phone showed three completed alarms.

I stared at it and said, “You were supposed to protect me.”

The phone, of course, remained silent.

That's when I realized the problem wasn't my alarm clock.

It was the fact that I had apparently become extremely talented at defeating it while unconscious.

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